Don't even try
selfattack
10:53 p.m. & 27.12.2004
Something touches her, as she sits, tightly curled on the floor. Some kind of sadness, that almost breaks into her mind. Almost, but it's only fleeting.
She begins to rock, gently, as if to move with the quiet wavering of some endless sea, that never quite seems to form waves. It's not that she's not trying, she is, but it won't seem to happen. It's kind of indefinable, the reason why she begins to cry, but she does. Streams, floods, pain upon pain. But she doesn't feel it, and it doesn't make anything better.
There's something screaming. I can hear it, someone's hurt. I have to go help them. But there's too many dark shadows, flitting across my vision, getting in the way.
The poor little bird, its wings are broken, how will it fly now? I can hardly see as the water begins to close in on me. But I can still hear the screaming, nothing will make it go away.
She's still there, lying now, in a dark, sticky stain on the floor. I'm not sure that she's alive. She might have gone, I think. She slipped away while I wasn't looking.